im still exhausted from beating all the other sperms

(via articrnonkey)

whiskeydrinking-operating:

This is Chester. When I was in Afghanistan I got a care package from one of those “Adopt a Soldier” programs that lets families send care packages to service men and women who are deployed overseas. Anyway, I got this care package, and it came with the usual stuff: Baby wipes, crackers, peanut butter, the Dad threw in a pack of cigarettes, and there was some jerky. But there was also a little beanie baby gold fish and a hand written note from a 7 year old girl that said 
“Dear Soldier, (I wasn’t even mad)
I hope you are doing well. I’m sorry you have to miss thanksgiving with your family. This is my friend Chester. He keeps me safe from monsters, but I think you need him more than I do. I hope he keeps you safe from the monsters you’re fighting. Take good care of him for me”.

You bet your ass that little fish was in my pocket every time I went on patrol.

whiskeydrinking-operating:

This is Chester. When I was in Afghanistan I got a care package from one of those “Adopt a Soldier” programs that lets families send care packages to service men and women who are deployed overseas. Anyway, I got this care package, and it came with the usual stuff: Baby wipes, crackers, peanut butter, the Dad threw in a pack of cigarettes, and there was some jerky. But there was also a little beanie baby gold fish and a hand written note from a 7 year old girl that said
“Dear Soldier, (I wasn’t even mad)
I hope you are doing well. I’m sorry you have to miss thanksgiving with your family. This is my friend Chester. He keeps me safe from monsters, but I think you need him more than I do. I hope he keeps you safe from the monsters you’re fighting. Take good care of him for me”.

You bet your ass that little fish was in my pocket every time I went on patrol.

(via toocooltobehipster)

burgrs:

why allow urself to be full of hate when u can be full of pasta instead 

(via perks-of-being-chinese)

lordkat:

lordkat:

can i have a fork

image

do you have a metal one

image

i planned this for days guys why wont you love me

(via lolsomeone-actually)

i'm not optimistic. i don't believe in miracles. i live in the present. i don't really think positivity is necessary. Well, it works if what you're positive about turns out to be positive. I'm seventeen. I'm weird. Most of the time i make sense. I'm inconsistent. You know what, i believe in miracles. The ones that make you move forward. Naaa. scratch that. I don't. But i affirm hardwork and perseverance and working for something you want, that's for sure.

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